Protection

As a mother, when I first knew I was carrying my babies, I began rubbing my stomach, talking to the baby growing inside me...eating healthier, doing all I could to care for and nurture the life inside me. Each day a bond was built..  After my babies were born I began loving on them, kissing, hugging, coddling, soothing them when they cried, rocking them to sleep, holding them.  They learned my scent, my touch, they found comfort in my love.  A sense of protection rose up inside me.  If they cried, I soothed, if they fell, I picked them up.  If they were out of my sight, I searched for them.  I didn't pray for that emotion to form, it was there, strong and present.

I can remember when my baby was in kindergarten, she would get off the bus at our neighbor Billie's house (Billie was a sweet woman who watched her for an hour until I or her dad was home).  One day Billie called me frantic.  Aubrey didn't get off the bus.  I was working out of town at the time and remember calling 911 immediately, letting them know a 5 year old little girl was missing.  I called the school, they remember her boarding the bus.  I remember calling her dad, we felt panic and fear like never before....as we all began rushing home, fear set in for us all.  Where was she?  Who had her?  Was she safe?  Was she scared?  Did she feel alone?  Ohhhh the fear, so heavy it took my very breath, so forceful I felt paralyzed...but I had to keep going, I had to drive, I had to search.

I remember pulling into my driveway - seeing the local police cars at my house and I began choking back the tears.  For some reason, it made it all too real for me.  Were they there to give me bad news, were they going to tell me they found her?  I got out of my car, walked towards the officers and then I saw her, sitting on the front steps.  I cried and cried.  The neighbor was there, she was with her...comforting her.  Aubrey was oblivious to the fear...oblivious to it all.  She was home, she felt safe, she just got off the bus at her house...not the neighbors.  Thinking she was a big girl and could be home and play with her toys...that's what she did.  She was playing with them inside her closet when the officers found her.  I remember holding both my girls so tight after that scare...so thankful I had them, so thankful we were together.

Now, they are nearly grown and one has started a family of her own.  The protection mode is a tad different.  It's protection of their hearts.  I don't want anyone hurting them, mistreating them, abusing them, or scaring them.  I still feel that momma bear rise up if anyone hurts them.  That's what momma's are supposed to do.  My babies will never be too old for their mom, they'll never be too old that they don't want me to hold them when they are scared, hurting, or just need their mom.

On our paths to start over...let's not forget to protect what we have.  Let's not forget we are all like children at times and need a hug, need to be reassured in this walk, we need to know we are loved.  It's okay to fall...but it's how we help each other back up that matters.

Have a good day, thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts...they helped me through a dark hour in my life.