Traditions

This past week I was sharing some of the traditions I've set with my daughters over the years with my soon to be mother-in-law.  I began telling her how it's always been so exciting for us on Christmas morning to go through our stockings.  We always contribute to each other's stocking, loading it chalk full of fun and sometimes useless trinkets.  However, small, trivial or fun each thing is - we truly just enjoy that time together.  Well this year, Greg and I will have the privilege of having his mother with us on Christmas morning too...so there will be a couple new stockings to fill.  I can't wait!

Sometimes it seems a bit overwhelming when blending families.  One family does one thing and the other, something completely different.  The beautiful thing is - it gives us the opportunity to partake in something new.  It allows us to share in each other's excitement and get to know each other better.  

As the time of year approaches where traditions start showing up - don't have a closed mind.  Open yourself up to something new, ask your kids, your spouse, your friends what they like to do and perhaps you and yours will find you're creating a new tradition in your life this year.

I for one am totally excited to start new traditions.  Memories in the making!

Have a great Halloween weekend everyone.

Dress up, smile, laugh, and enjoy life, be safe!! You only have one life to live!!!

It's time to stop worrying about being right - and just be happy

My sweetheart and I are just 16 days away from pledging our vows in front of our closest immediate family members.  We've invited a small number in order to keep our budget down and keep our ceremony intimate; it is our day after all.  We have 15 including the minister and his wife who will be in attendance with us as we begin our journey as husband and wife. 

We've been blessed with amazing family members who could have had hurt feelings by not receiving an invite - but yet, looked past their own opinions and saw our heart and desire and have fully supported us - calling, sending texts and emails letting us know how happy they are that we've found each other.  Then on the opposite side we've heard negative remarks and had a few turn down our invitation to share in our day because they felt we were not being kind by not inviting others as well.  That's their choice and I didn't argue with them, I just let our chef know we'll have a few less plates at the dinner table.

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If we are always striving to please everyone - we will lose ourselves in the midst of the purpose.

I would be miserable if I gave in to the guilt party of those who were upset - extended invitations and put a financial burden on my sweetheart.  We would then have to open the list to both sides of our families in order to keep everyone happy, all the while putting a strain on our relationship.

I refuse.

Now...I can relax, knowing the family who is there, truly have Greg's and my best interest at heart.  They have no agenda to make us look negative toward others, they haven't talked negatively behind our backs - they're genuinely happy for our future together and are excited to share this moment in time with us.

I have no anger or bitterness towards those who don't wish to join us, it's their choice.

I'm so excited about starting over with this beautiful man - showing my daughters that love does exist and God truly does care about our wants, needs and desires - I don't have time to be unhappy!

Please pass the salt....

Salt has been used since the beginning of time.  Prized by the ancient Greeks, Hebrews, Romans, Byzantines, Hittites, and the Egyptians. It was used in trading, wars have been fought over salt, it's cultural significance is known around the world.

In biblical times it was used as a preserving agent, used in sanctification ceremonies, used as an antiseptic, and used to add flavor.  Metaphorically it's been used to signify permanence, loyalty, durability, fidelity, usefulness, value and purification.  It's so common, yet so valuable. 

 I want flavor in my life.  I want there to be a preserving agent, keeping me in tact; strong and healthy.  I hope that my life adds flavor to those who are around me.  I pray I'm able to be a positive influence in their lives.  I pray that when people are hurting and they turn to me (as a believer in Christ) that I'm able to offer prayers of healing to their hurting hearts.  I want to be a valuable resource to them.

So the next time you grab the salt remember it's not just "salt" it's a reminder that we aren't here just because.  Your journey of starting over may just be that you are discovering your true purpose.  Why are you here?  Well...you're here to add flavor.  You're here to preserve God's promise that He loves each and everyone of us.  We matter to Him and He's coming back one day for His children.

Progressive

adjective

Happening or developing gradually or in stages; proceeding step by step

Life should be progressive.

If it's not...we are in trouble.  We should be developing our outter, inner and spiritual man in stages.  Never staying stagnate - always growing.  Always making steps to become a healthier version of our best self.

Maybe you have found yourself with a blurred vision of your purpose.  With this I am speaking of your emotional or spiritual man - if you are there.  The best physician is Jesus.  He's right there waiting to see you through.  The thing is...He's a true gentleman and won't barge in on you.  He's just waiting for you to invite Him to be there with you.  All you have to do is call on His name and He'll be right there.  Tell Him what you're battling or going through.  Ask Him for His comfort and His hand in your life.  I promise you - He will not hurt or betray you.  I promise you He will lift your spirits and bring joy and purpose to your life.

Jesus has given my life purpose.  He's added to it daily.  And just like my new progressive lenses...I'm proceeding in life step by step.

Here's to starting over, with God at the helm.

Love is....

I know we all have this "picture" in our minds of what love is supposed to look like, feel like, smell like.   As a young girl I paid attention to the boys who treated their girlfriends like a princess.  I watched as girls would get flowers sent to them at school, or as they took them out to dinner and movie.  There was always a least one romance movie that drew me in.  I'd buy the soundtrack to the movie, listen to song after song, memorizing the words...dancing in my bedroom while no one was watching, pretending I was "that" girl.  I was a hopeless romantic - and to be honest, I still am.

What I'm learning about love the older I become is that it isn't all about "feelings" and fluff.  It's not all about what society says it needs to look like or feel like.  Love is shown in so many forms, we just need to pay attention.

I don't like to brag, but I'm going to.  I have truly been blessed with a man who has taken loving me to heart.  We like many other couples have been faced with difficult days but determination has kept us from giving up - or shall we just call it as it is - love kept us from giving up.

It takes two to commit to a loving relationship.  It takes patience, kindness/respect, it takes protection - both physically and emotionally, it has to be built on trust, it has to have hope or a feeling of expectancy for a beautiful life, it has to persevere  - to stay the course without giving up and it cannot fail.  Love conquers all - because it is formed with determination and is unstoppable.

There is no greater example for us to follow than Christ.  His love is so pure, so gentle, so forgiving.  His love is there to serve us, guide us, restore us and give us hope that our lives and relationships can be filled with a promise of a beautiful healthy life. 

Love yourself - love your spouse - love your children - love your parents - friends and neighbors.  

Water the love in your own garden and see just how beautiful it grows!

Hello there, He's totally into miracles!

Do you find yourself faced with doubts and uncertainty?  Do you feel like you're in a no win situation and feel like giving up?  We've allll been there and guess what...God is still on the throne and still in the business of performing miracles!!!  Not once have I ever read in the Bible that His gifts are for a select few.  He LOVES proving Himself to be mighty and strong.  He loves to flex his muscles on our behalf.  He loves picking us up when we are falling apart and loves to guide us when life is grand.  We have to keep our eyes off the problem and look to Him as the solution provider.

Life isn't a fairy tale.  Life does happen.  There are highs and lows in all of our lives but we can't get so caught up in what's not working right and lose focus on what is.

I am trusting in God to work miracles in all our lives.

Remember as you start over, we are all given a measure or portion of faith.  Exercise your portion today, trusting that God will work on your behalf!

He's working on mine!!!

What kind of example are you?

I can say I have not always been the best example.  I don't pride myself in that truth, but I don't lie about it either.  I have two daughters who have experienced things in life that they should never have experienced and I believe some came from following my lead.  I hate that they will learn some things the hard way.  However, I am amazed at their strength and determination to get it right.

Through falling down, getting back up, choosing right, choosing wrong, trying and trying again I have found people watch.  They watch each and every thing you do and listen to everything that comes from your mouth.  If you are a Christian...they want to see you live it.  If you are constantly telling people how to parent, they want to see you parent perfectly, if you are constantly telling people they need to lose weight...well, they wanna see that you are the picture of lean muscle and perfect health.  If our words don't match up to our actions - we aren't setting a good example.

I was praying in the shower this morning and began weeping, praying that God would help me be the woman my future husband needs.  To be the mother my daughters need and be the grandma my sweet impressionable grandson needs.  I want to be honorable.  I want to be loving.  I want to be nurturing and care about their needs, wants and desires as much as my own.  I don't want to say I'm these things and perhaps they feel differently because my actions haven't met up with my words.

I am so aware of my mortality.  I am so confident that my life will one day end and all that will remain is my example.  I pray the man I love knows how deeply he is loved, wanted, cherished.  I pray my daughters know how they inspire me, how much I love them, I hope they know that I pray for them and their walk with God.  I pray my grandson knows how precious he is to me and that I pray for God's hand in his life...this is the example I pray I'm leaving behind.

Don't lose sight of the end result as you start over.

Lord help us all to remember this.

Pat yourself on the back

The beauty of growing older doesn't come in wrinkles, gray hair, body parts that fail us at times.  Not even in the aches and pains of exercising or exploring something new.  The beauty of growing older comes from finding out just who you are.  Finding out who you were meant to be and creating that life for yourself.

To any woman who's had to count the change to put gas in your car, work long hours just to hope you can pay your bills, hand wash your kids' clothes so they'd be clean, went on a forced fast in order to make sure your children ate and you took the time to pray that God would provide,  to any woman who pushed herself to gain an education despite the odds, to any woman who prayed for her family and believed that life would get better one day...to the woman who never gave up on herself or those she loves...pat yourself on the back!!!

For those women who weren't strong enough in their past but now have allowed the past to make you strong - you too need to pat yourself on the back!!

Whoever you are, I thank you!

What a day it's been.  I had to run into town to grab some gifts for "Boss's Day" and while doing so I met a super sweet woman.  We just clicked.  As we chatted back and forth we realized just how small this world is.  We knew some of the same people, we shared some of the same life experiences, we stood and talked like old friends, what a treat.

I'm taking nothing for granted...the good, the bad, the ugly.  Every experience has left me with something to draw from.  Each person I've had the privilege to meet has left an impression on my life.  Whether they've hurt me, lifted me up, stayed by my side, left without warning...it doesn't matter, they all have contributed to my life in some form and I'm thankful.  It's because of them I can appreciate my role as a mom, a grandma, a girlfriend, an employee, a friend.  It's because of them I have stories to tell and memories to cherish.  It's because of them I know pain doesn't last forever and joy comes in the morning.  It's because of them, I learned I have a God who has never left me or forsaken me and calls me by name.

To whomever you are...thank you for molding me into the strong, happy, sensitive woman I am today!

Thank you all for helping me realize it was okay for me to start over....and to Andrea...the woman I met today, your future will be greater than your past!!!

Hello Gorgeous!

Don't you love it when you go shopping and find something new...a new blouse, new shoes, new jeans, new jewelry, New Anything?!!  I certainly do.  I have recently gone through my "things" sifting out the old and realized it is time to part with some items I once loved; 

they just don't fit in my life anymore.  

Some things I had held on to for years as they had memories attached to them, others reminded me of a thinner, more youthful me and then some things...well, I just can't explain why I still had them, lol!! What I do know...it's time to make a clothing donation!  Why hold on to these things?  Why have them hang in the closet taking up precious space?  

Getting rid of them frees me to....well....replace them! :)

I generally try to gain some sort of lesson out of big events in my life and with cleaning out my closet on the literal side, I realized it's time to clean my closet on the emotional side as well.  Clean it of the need to please others, clean it of the need to make everyone happy, clean it of the need to be accepted by everyone or to rearrange my life in order to accommodate others.  

For those of us who have found ourselves at a crossroad in life and realize we've had some things holding us back - it's time to let go.  We need to free ourselves from anything that keeps pulling us down.  Some people can't stand it when others progress; misery loves company.  If you have people in your life who constantly knock you down, it's okay to make room in your life for those who truly care about you and want to see you happy.

It's impossible to enjoy your new walk if you're constantly getting tossed into someone else's misery.  Stand up for yourself!!

Today is a great day to give yourself permission to move on.  Be with those who love you, who encourage you, who support you.  Surround yourself with things that give you purpose - I promise you when you do - You will find out who you were meant to be!!

My motto!

No way am I going to look at my past and be like..."I miss those days so much, I will never be happy like that again".  Sure I had wonderful happy days in my past.  We all have had that...but this woman is going to live out the next chapter better than the last!

Think about it...we are older, wiser...we know who we are.  We know what we want now.  We have the power to create our perfect future.  This doesn't mean you'll be rewarded with riches untold or a home so grand you feel like you're living the life of royalty.  What it means is...that no matter what circumstance you're living in...you can be the happiest you've ever been. 

I talk to the man of my dreams quite frequently...lol, and he tells me this is the happiest he's ever been in his life.  I know the life he's led prior to me and I find that to be the greatest compliment.  He's played football in front of thousands, he's traveled all over, dated beautiful women, shared the company of great men and women...and he is happiest right now.  This is how life is meant to be!  Take all those experiences, live and learn, grow from them so they allow you to fully appreciate the moment in time you are living in.

I'm thankful for the past, it's taught me to appreciate what I have today.  Take nothing for granted, it's here today and gone tomorrow.  Looking forward to each moment ahead - memories to be made with my daughters, their sweethearts, my beautiful grandson and the love of my life.

Starting over...looks beautiful!

Taking this to heart...for myself

I have not, nor do I claim to have it all together.  I'm not the know-it-all guru of life.  I fall, I make mistakes and if I learn I've hurt someone, I want to seek forgiveness.  I don't have a malicious side of me that wishes to hurt or tear people down.  I'm a problem solver, a fixer and sometimes in my need to fix a situation...I fumble.

We all find ourselves faced with situations that open the door to this behavior or reaction and although we may do right 99.9% of the time...it's that .1% that causes problems.  

I ask God to work in me so that I might continue to find His grace.  That I would continue to work on myself so that I may bring Him glory.

I apologize today to anyone I have hurt with my words.

Say goodbye to fear

What are you afraid of?

Afraid of losing your job, your money, your family, your friends?  Are you afraid of being alone?  Are you afraid of letting people down?  Are you afraid of death?

There are answers for all of these things.

Don't allow "life" and the people in this life to minimize God's promises for you!

God doesn't manipulate us...God doesn't force His hand on us.  He loves us, in spite of us.

When you are overwhelmed with life...take some time to read these scriptures.  They will bring peace to your soul.

Starting over in life doesn't guarantee us that we will walk through life without a worry or care...but when we hold on to God's hand, that walk becomes much easier.

Have a great Monday!!!

I've earned my stripes

I know very few of us have been blessed to give birth to our children without a single stretch mark or scar.  It's both embarrassing and beautiful.  Embarrassing because very few of us look in the mirror and see the beauty at all times and would shudder to have someone see us naked.  Beautiful because we know what it took to bring them on.  

For some women it's not just pregnancy....for some, it's a battle of mind, will and survival.  Our situations, our health, our lives aren't the same.  I have a girlfriend who has a terrible time controlling her weight.  She doesn't eat junk, her body's chemistry is off and she has to take medications to regulate it...a side effect is weight gain.  It has left her scars and a terrible case of insecurity, although she is truly beautiful -both inside and out.  I know another woman who fights to gain weight...her tiny body is so fragile and frail.  She battles feelings of insecurity all the time and yet, she's totally beautiful -both inside and out.

We battle these feelings because we are comparing ourselves to Victoria Secret models, celebrities, or just other women we know and whom we deem as beautiful.  Shame on us!

 So what if you aren't 18 anymore - what you are is a woman who has gained some knowledge over time.  You are stronger, wiser and braver than any younger woman is.  You have power.  You can create an atmosphere in your home and relationship that a younger woman could not.  You have so much to offer...it's your mind and the way you carry yourself that is beautiful.  You can command a room with a look, you can calm a child with a touch, you are a force to be reckoned with.

I lost myself for many years.  I felt ugly.  I lost my identity and if you were to see photos of that person next to the woman I am today....you would see the difference.  Today, I stand strong.  I have  confidence in my ability as a woman, I have courage to speak my mind, I have wisdom that only life's ups and downs could bring.  I am beautiful today because I took control of who I am and who I want to be.  I do admit that having a man in my life who does not go a day without telling me I'm beautiful or that he loves me helps boost my self-esteem...but he was not the one who took control back of my life.  In fact, he would have never dated me if I was some weak woman who had no confidence.  It was my strength, confidence and determination that allured him, most definitely not an unclothed body with wrinkles and scars.

Living in the shadows of yesterday is not for me.  I've chosen to start over with a will to fight for a better future, which means I have to accept and love who I am today and stop wishing I had that same body I once had as a young, naive, stupid girl.

For all of us who earned our stripes...whether through giving birth or just battling to survive!! 

We are beautiful!!

The greenest grass...

This is a life lesson to learn.  We always hear the phrase, "the grass is always greener on the other side"...we also hear, "the grass is greenest where you water it".  Both are true...but this phrase, hits home to me.

I have a beautiful life.  I have beautiful daughters, a great church, a Pastor who preaches the Word of God, a family who loves me and reaches out to me - both near and far away, and the love of my life, whom I've waited a very long time for.  I have so much to be thankful for and so much to protect.  

I am no longer praying for God to bring someone to me who understands me, gets me, completes me, loves me, honors me, laughs with me, dances with me, holds my hand...

God has blessed me with that man.  

As a woman who has lost greatly in life, I realize the value of what I have and I pray fervently for God's protection on him and our commitment to one another.  I pray for God's protection because I pay close attention to keeping the grass green.  I am devoted, loving, loyal and faithful to him because he deserves to be loved.  I choose to give him the best part of me because he gives me the best part of who he is as well.  This is not something that has happened immediately...we realized that we have to nurture OUR relationship in order for it to survive and thrive and thank God it is!

There will always be greener grass...but the sweetest grass is the grass you water, you nurture, you put your time and effort into.  If you focus on that, you'll eventually choke out any weeds and have a beautiful, healthy life.

Starting over hasn't been easy, but when I look at my future...I see it's all been worth it. 

 God had bigger plans for me than what I ever dreamed. 

This is one woman who won't be looking at the weeds in some other yard!

Judge not - lest you be judged

How many times have you found yourself thinking about someone else's life in a judgmental way?  I mean shouldn't everyone parent their children the same way as you?  Shouldn't everyone dress the same as you?  Shouldn't everyone believe the same as you?  Shouldn't everyone react the same as you in trying situations or choose to eat as you do or have the same exercise routine as you?

Sounds hideous doesn't it?  But yet, so often we sit and pass judgement on others who don't live exactly the way we think they should.  I'm not saying that we need to accept every lifestyle as "healthy" because not all are.  If you are putting yourself or others in danger, it's wrong.

What I am saying is...even though someone is, as the Christian world believes, "sinning" or perhaps not "sinning" but maybe just doing something you may not agree with...Does NOT mean you have the right to cast judgement.

No matter who they are or what they are doing...it's their life.  No one has to agree with another person's decision, it's called life.  Every person has been given the ability to make decisions whether bad or good, whether I agree or not.  It's not right for me to walk around and constantly give my opinion.  The moment we open our mouth spewing out our negativity...we show others that we need to spend time working on ourselves.  I honestly don't believe God himself, who sits on His throne sits around discussing our sins to the angels in Heaven.  What He does is continue to love us, draw us and give us opportunity after opportunity to know Him.

It's time to stop talking about those in your church, your family, your circle of friends...and start focusing on being the best we can.  Friends, life is too short to waste it on worrying about what other people are doing or not doing.  Begin praying about the situation, only good will come from that.  More often than not, God will begin changing your heart.  You may just find you have more compassion, a deeper burden for lost souls, a new walk with Him...taking your eyes off the problem and on the solution.

Starting over doesn't always mean a whole change of life...sometimes it just means we need to work on our own heart and attitude.

Here's to a day filled with hope, peace, love and joy.

Not criticism, gossiping, judging, and despair.

So thankful for a God who loves me in spite of who I am!!!

Your size isn't where your beauty is at...

We live in a society where love and beauty have been so distorted, it's sad.  Beauty is not about size!!  I've met plenty of "thin, skinny, in shape" women and men who are nut cases! They put more thought into their looks which will one day fade, than their heart which will be lonely one day if they don't change their ways.

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A beautiful woman who's constantly putting someone down, gossiping, cheating...is ugly.  

A handsome man who has wondering eyes, a lying tongue, an ugly mouth...is ugly.

The Bible has some things to say about beauty:

Psalm 139:14

1 Samuel 16:7

1 Peter 3:3-4

1 Timothy 4:8

Proverbs 31:30

 Do your part to build one another up...we tear each other down and don't even realize it.  Our bodies are changing at a rapid pace - there will always be someone prettier, someone more handsome...but there is only one you.  Cherish the one by your side.  Believe in yourself.  Allow 

 the love of God to radiate through you so that you never doubt your beauty.   

Be a man or a woman of worth!

As you start over...don't do it with a determination to change your outer man...start with the inside.

The measure of success

I love my boss...he's a wonderful man with many years of wisdom under his hat.  I am afforded the privilege of hearing him talk of days gone by, stories of time when life was simpler and relationships that have survived over the years.
One thing he often shares with us is to make memories.  He tells us that you can't take the money in your wallet with you, but you can hold onto memories for the rest of your life...long after you pass, there will be those who will remember you and the way you made them feel.

I see him walk towards the photos on the wall, as he's transported back to a time when he was a vibrant coach looking into the eyes, hearts and souls of a group of young men who trusted him to lead and guide them not just on the field, but in life too.  So many of those boys, now men...stop by to spend time with their leader, the one who believed in them.

He hasn't measured his success in life by his financial status ...but rather valuable experiences.  He says you can't measure a man by his wealth...you measure a man by his reputation.  Was he fair, was he honest, was he a man of his word?

Today as I reflect on my life and the many people who hold a valuable place in my heart...I can say I am blessed to be surrounded by some amazing people who value God, family and friends.  I hope they feel the same about me, that somewhere along the line I've learned that life isn't about what you have, but who you have.

Thankful this is an area in my life that I don't have to start over in.
Blessed, I am!

Simplify

I can't help but think of my relationship with my fiance. 

When we first began dating he asked me to give him 21 days.  21 days to keep the outside noise out...to give him and us a chance to form our own opinions about each other without any influence from others, negative or positive.  I agreed, and we did.  We not only agreed to that, but we chose to date quietly, not locally so as to not start a stir...we live in a small community and word travels fast.  We did what we could to protect the relationship and give it a valid chance.  It worked.

During the course of our relationship we have had to decide what matters most to us.  

Our past had formed us but we weren't going to let it define us.  We chose to let go of some old ways and habits and work towards creating a relationship that after being stripped down to the core, reflects us and where we want to go moving forward.  We had to define what would be detrimental to our autonomy and the success of our relationship and rid ourselves of those things.  We also had to determine what things matter most to us...and foster/protect those things.  

You don't do that by rushing...it's done slowly and deliberately.  It's not done by just following your "feelings"...sometimes it takes going through a few storms for us to realize just how much someone or something means to us.

Thankful heart today...thankful for cleaning closets, physically and emotionally.  Thankful for the storms that make you appreciate the beauty after the rain.

Time to simplify - for what matters most.

Starting over has brought me much to be thankful for!!