Keep trusting - that's what I do

It's not easy to trust that it will all work out when all you see is doom and gloom but if you can just spark that glimmer of hope, you'll be able to see there is a light ahead that doesn't dim, it just gets brighter and brighter.

We are born to trust, but somehow time and people diminish it's strength.  Unless of course we've been blessed with a perfect life where people never go back on their word and parents don't die or get divorced, where jobs are always there and money grows on trees.  I don't live in that world.

I live in the world where people make mistakes, jobs end, people get sick and pass on, parents divorce, credit and credibility lose their "score" and well....life happens.

So...I'd say trusting in God takes time.  It takes practice.  It's a learned trait.  It's a habit that must be formed.  It's important to my survival.

I don't know the "how", the "when" the "why" of each situation, but what I do know is....I know the One who speaks peace into each situation.  I know the One who blesses.  I know the One who rewards those who are diligently seeking His will.

As we start over we have to remind ourselves that each day is different.  What doesn't have to change is our focus.  Stay focused on God, stay focused on the positive things.  Stay focused on what He's done already and what He's continuing to do on your behalf.

My life =)

I tell you, this is me.  I can't really remember ever a time in my life where I haven't tried to make the most out of a situation - whether good or bad.  I am just so blessed to be able to live, it's hard for me not to enjoy it.

My boyfriend and I were invited to dinner with a seasoned couple in the church he attends last night.  During the course of our conversation I found myself listening intently to just how they have "lived" during their marriage.  They've raised a family - had 5 children, four boys and one girl.  They tragically lost one son to an early death, moved 22 times and still managed to sit across from us and feed into our spirits.

I believe it is a great testimony to see how others have made it.  How they've chosen to "LIVE" the life they've been given and do it with grace, a smile, happiness in their hearts and the joy to share with others just how to obtain that same goal, just living life to it's fullest no matter what life throws at you.

I'm so blessed...so excited about life and thankful to know how to live.

Starting over...with joy in my heart and a will to live this life I've been given!!!

Writing this with a thankful heart

I didn't post yesterday because I was being checked for breast cancer.

I guess it was in early May when I detected a lump in my breast and didn't say anything to anyone about it.  I was afraid and I was facing some uncertainties in life that kept me from seeking the care I needed.  Isn't that how life is sometimes?  I just knew I needed to be emotionally strong and secure with The Lord before I ever sought medical advice. 

Well over the last month and a half or so I have just continued to watch/feel for any changes in size or touch and well...nothing changed, it was just there, reminding me that some people get cancer.  You know how it is...our brain automatically goes to the most negative place it possibly can when dealing with sensitive information.  Or maybe yours doesn't - but mine does.

I've often been baffled by the fact that my sister and I have outlived our mother and father and for some reason when a physical ailment comes knocking at my door I wonder if my time on earth is through.  Well....it's not, Thank You Jesus.  They did a 3D mammogram and followed up with an ultrasound and I'm clear!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can tell you - with all the hope and faith that I live with on a daily basis...I still felt fear of the unknown leading up to hearing it from trained medical professionals that I was okay.  I spent hours over the past couple of months praying that God would bring me through and that He would allow me time with my children, grandson and grant me the gift of love and a life with Greg.  Nothing felt sweeter than the hug Greg gave me after the doctor gave me the all clear...nothing tasted better than the bite of a peanut butter cookie (celebratory of course) and being able to look at Greg and know that God just brought me (us) through, yet another major obstacle.

I can't express it enough just how wonderful God is.  He truly does comfort us when we are down, He truly does give hope in hopeless situations.  He truly does care about every single need and want we have and desires to take care of His children.  I am one of His children!

For anyone who's facing the "unknown", it doesn't have to be the terrible "c" word of cancer, it can be an unknown disease, an unknown life change, an unknown career change, just anything that is causing you to have sleepless nights, hopeless days and a restless spirit - I challenge you to trust in God.  I challenge you to pray about it.  It doesn't mean the feelings will all go away, but what it does mean is your spirit will find rest in God, knowing He will see you through.  

Starting over can just mean allowing God to bring rest to your current situation.  Starting over can just mean you place your cares and troubles in His hands.  He's totally qualified to handle anything and anyone.

Here's to a beautiful day and a thankful heart.

Determined to live life

One thing I've learned in life is that no one is above life's challenges. 

What inspires me are the ones who take those challenges and become stronger, healthier and happier.

I know if we were to sit in a room filled with strangers and told each other our life stories we would find we have reason to be thankful for the life we've been given.  We would hear how many times each person started over in life, we would hear how there were highs and lows to each season faced.  We would hear of love and loss; we would then know...we are not alone.

My hope and prayer is that each person who is faced with starting over grab a hold of a new vision for your life.  Be hopeful for a new beginning.  Be bold and courageous, full of faith that you've been given this opportunity to live a life filled with happiness.

I truly am blessed to be given this chance in life to start over and live it out with love, trust, faith, hope, and the courage to enjoy each day as they come.  

Thank you God, thank you Greg, thank you Kaitlyn, Aubrey and Emmett for showing this person that I'm living the life I'm meant to live!!! I love you all so much!!!

It's all about perspective.

This last week has brought on a whole new set of things to ponder.
A few of my friends and acquaintances have experienced amazing loss this last week.  The passing of a healthy beautiful husband/father/brother... I learned of a woman who under Oregon's Death With Dignity Rights, checked into a hotel room at 3:00 PM yesterday and said goodbye to all those left behind.  Another family lost all three of their children in a crosswalk.  It's time to wake up and take notice at just how quickly it all ends.  

I have been given only one life to live and I want to make it count.  I want my children to know I love them and appreciate them.  I want to make memories with my girls, my grandson, my family and the man I love.

I may not have everything I want...But I have who I want.
I have a God who loves and protects me.  I have amazing friends, I have a job, a home, a car.
I am a blessed woman!




How do we do that?
Love God!  Serve Him!  Serve Others!

Instead of saying...does this matter to my partner?
Ask yourself the question...does my partner matter to me?

Instead of waiting for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.

Instead of waiting for someone to make you happy, you can make someone else happy.

Instead of thinking you have to be the most beautiful woman in the world, fall in love with the man who believes you make his world beautiful.

At the end of the day all that matters is who you love, who loves you and the God who holds us in His hands.

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No matter what you've faced, no matter where you thought you'd be today - you have the ability to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Start over with a new perspective today.

Do I bring honor?

This hit me hard today.

What does honor mean to me?

It means to live with integrity and respect.  It means to set someone or something in a place of high regard or respect.  It is the opposite of shame in my eyes.

I honor the man I love by keeping myself to him.  I'm trustworthy.  I value my role in his life and want to honor him with my actions, heart, mind and spirit.

Honor cannot exist when anonymity exists.  I can't honor him as my boyfriend if I never let anyone know we are together.  It gives others the opinion that I'm single or available to other choices.  

I need God's honor in my life so I am not ashamed to say that I'm His child.  I have humbled myself before Him displaying my failures/sins.  I have asked Him to forgive me, cleanse me and make me new.  I genuinely desire to please Him by living a life that will bring Him honor - because I love Him.

Loving God - means proving to Him with my actions, my words, my life that I bring Him honor.

Loving Greg means I prove it with my actions, my words and my life.  

What a privilege we have to be loved and to be able to love someone.

As I've started over...I know now more than I have ever known in my life - that I want to be loved, honored, and adored...by not only the very God who created me...but my children and the man I am committed to.

How amazing...

This verse is for each and  every one of us who've ever doubted in ourselves.

 God knew I would have hazel eyes, brown hair, crooked teeth, freckled skin... He knew I would have a sensitive spirit and need affirmation.  He knew I would need to be reminded from time to time that I am loved and needed.  God knew I wouldn't be the President of The United States...but that didn't matter because my role was just as important.  I am a mother, a gramma, a sister, a daughter, a friend, an aunt, a niece, a cousin, and a girlfriend.  I am a child of God and to Him... I am a masterpiece!  I have made mistakes and often fall short of my expectations.  I have scars both physically and emotionally- I have needs, wants and desires...but again... I am God's masterpiece!  

I may not have the body of a model or the face of an angel but I am God's masterpiece!  I may not always get things right - but I don't always get it wrong and regardless- I am His masterpiece!  

Because I believe in Him and His word - I must believe I am beautiful in His sight!  I must believe I am a child of the King... I must believe that I am a gift worth cherishing...because I am a masterpiece!  

Remember who you are... Don't doubt in your bloodline.  

God does not make mistakes and He loves you just how He created you! 

I am one of a kind...I'm an original.  I'm blessed and highly favored by God Himself...because I am One of His masterpieces!  

Remember this as you start over.

You were created by the Master!

I matter - you matter

I've been speaking from my heart lately.  Sharing some of my insecurities...when I came across this I knew it was for me today.  I have to remind myself of this from time to time.

This goes for every role in our lives.  We are not disposable!
If my life were to be over today - my children, grandson, family and friends would be devastated.  The man I love would feel a void in his life forever.  My co-workers would be left with a sense of loss that no matter who came and filled my position, it would just never be the same.

I have had the privilege of being married - sharing my life with someone and wow, the void when it ended.  I've been given a second chance at love and I promise you - I won't blow it.  This man knows without any doubt that there isn't a single man out there that can pull me from him.  I don't dabble with risks that will cause us hurt or pain.  I don't hide things, I don't lie or cheat.  He knows he is irreplaceable to me.  My children know there isn't another child out there who can move my heart like they do.  They know I'll give my last breath for them.  If I can afford it, I'll buy it...if they need it, I'll make a way.  They know they are irreplaceable to me.  My grandson will grow up knowing he has a gramma who loves him beyond - and no one or nothing could ever take his place in my heart.

It's time we show the ones who matter that they are not disposable.  That nothing is worth replacing them.  God sure doesn't treat us that way - after all, He gave his very life to show us just how much we mean to Him.

As we start over - let's not forget just how short life is and that we should never take the very breath we breathe for granted - nor should we take others for granted.

Thank you all for walking this walk with me...for believing in yourselves enough to stand tall and not settle.  You matter!!

There's nothing like a heart wide open

Life isn't always fair.
This is something I've learned time and time again.

Is it fair my mom died at 32 and left behind a husband and 3 children who needed her?  Is it fair that little boys, girls, grown men and women are abused verbally, sexually, emotionally?  Is it fair men and women are diagnosed with cancer on a daily basis?  Is it fair families are uprooted because of a loss of work, or divorce or some catastrophe?  No....it's not - but God never promised us that life would be fair.

But what God did promise us is that He would give us everything we need to live a great life.  It comes to us through personal knowledge of Jesus Christ.  We have the ability to open up the Bible, read it and apply it to our lives - which allows us to grow in God and in our lives.

I have some carnal wants/desires.  I do.  I want to marry again.  I want to enjoy life with my best friend.  Waking up together, ending the day together, laughing and sharing life's moments together.  I want to watch my children grow up and make wise choices, to see them know what it's like to be loved so much that they'll never doubt or question their value and worth.  I want to see them follow God and apply the scriptures to their lives.  I want to see my grandson grow up to be healthy and happy and have a love for God.  I want to know my family is saved.
I want to wake up each morning knowing beyond a shadow of any doubt that I am loved by the man I love, my children, my grandson, and my friends and family....



But what if that doesn't happen?
Because I have the Word of God...because I have the love of God in my heart - I can rest assured that no matter what...I am loved.  I have a promise of eternal life through Jesus.  I have a promise of seeing my christian mother and father in heaven again one day.... I have a reason to live.  I have a reason to tell people about God's mercy and grace.

I know there are many of us who have been hurt in unthinkable measures - and I am so sorry for your hurts, pains, fears.  I'm so sorry that someone chose to hurt you.  But let me tell you there is a God who loves you beyond your comprehension.  He wants to replace your hurt with a peace and joy that only He can give.  He desires to know you and I promise you...He'll never leave you, never forsake you.  He loves you with an unconditional everlasting love.

I hold this promise close to my heart and although I face fears, doubts and trying situations at times...I know I'm never alone.  He's right there with me - All I have to do is mention his name...Jesus.

A little more about me...

For a long time I've battled feeling as though I'm not enough.  

As a woman who loves with ever fiber of who I am...I give and give to a relationship, I give and give to my job.  I give in my friendships.  I give to my family.

It is very natural for me to want to do things for others, to make them feel loved, wanted, trusted, nurtured, safe.  I enjoy buying things for my daughters, my grandson, the man I love.  Not just because I want to spend money on them...but it's always nice to know someone cares enough to think about you and get you something they think you may want or appreciate.

I love to cook or bake for the ones I love...nothing brings more satisfaction than hearing them enjoy the flavors of what I've prepared.  When they ask to have seconds or even want to take something home with them...well, it just warms my heart. 

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My value and worth have been attacked to my very core over the years.  I allowed my divorce to strip me from believing in myself in the beginning - actually for a long time.  I sought comfort in a man who was completely narcissistic - building me up, tearing me down, building me up, tearing me down...creating a new pattern of pain that I had yet to experience - a new set of fears, a new set of emotions that were completely wrapped in making me feel unloved, unwanted, disrespected, with no honor or value...I was miserable and trapped for a long time.

Not until I began counseling and attending classes to become a counselor - did I realize my value and worth are in God's hands.  He, the very God of the universe...He, the one who saved my soul, who created me, who formed me in his likeness and image...HE loves me!  He finds me beautiful and worthy and lovable and made the ultimate sacrifice for me.  What love!

Please don't get me wrong...I still battle it.  I want to know I'm cherished by the man I love.  I want to know he finds me to be beautiful and that the love we share is rare and that no other woman could ever shake our foundation.  I want to know he'll never cheat on me or disrespect me.  I want to know that he will choose us each and every day for the rest of our lives.  But there's nothing wrong with that.  Each man and woman I know who is looking for lasting love wants the same thing from their relationship.  

There has been a great change in me through all these things... I have found God has never left me, never forsaken me, never found my needs or wants to be too great for Him.  He's the perfect gentleman and loves us all with an everlasting love. 

In starting over...I am finding my value and worth.  I am beautiful, I am strong, I am smart, I'm not a pushover, I'm courageous, I'm blessed, I'm forgiven, I'm saved, I'm a daughter of a living God, 

I AM ENOUGH!

So are you....don't ever doubt your value or worth!

Start today with full confidence in who you are and what you bring to this day.

From the heart

I guess you can say I've learned how to trust in God by watching others.  I have been blessed to be surrounded by faith based people.  My parents, grand parents on both my mother and father's side, lots of family and friends have all devoted their lives to God, exercising faith during the good and bad times and I've been privileged to witness and experience it with my own eyes.

This isn't to say I didn't experience difficult times and doubt or question God.  Oh I have, countless times asked God, WHY?!!  But what I haven't done was lose hope that He would bring me through and I have to thank those who blazed the trail before me for that...they never showed me that God wouldn't supply my needs.  

Even during the times when I had turned my back on God after my divorce I knew God was always there for me.  I felt Him and felt Him drawing me, always reminding me of His love and His protection - it's an amazing thing to be loved by God Himself.  So thankful for His grace and mercy and that it's a free gift for each one of us who give our lives to Him.

I'm so thankful to know Him...to be loved by Him...to have the opportunity to trust Him and believe He has my life in His hands - it brings a peace to the storms I find myself in or have gone through. This past month plus has been somewhat of a trying time for me.  I've laughed, I've cried, I've prayed, I've hurt and rejoiced, so many emotions have flooded me.  I know God is with me, He hears each and every prayer, sees each tear, knows each emotion and through it all, He holds my hand, guiding me through the day.  

Whatever you are going through...whether financial difficulties, or relationship problems, whether emotional or physical - I ask you to take a step at trusting in God to see you through.  It's a learned process and once you learn this...you'll begin to see a more victorious life, a fulfilling life.  You will be able to help others exercise faith because you have experienced it for yourself.  It doesn't mean you won't face trials and tribulations...it just means you'll be able to get through them with confidence in God's ability to see you through.  

I apologize for the lengthy post....but it's something that's weighing on my mind.  We live in a time and day where faith is diminishing at a rapid pace and we must not lose our portion.  

Have a blessed weekend.  

Start your day with faith.

Celebrate each small victory

You may not be exactly where you want to be today but look at how far you've come!

Keep your eyes on the prize!

Whatever your goal is - keep your eyes on it and celebrate each step along the way.  

DON'T GIVE UP!!! 

Starting over is worth it!!!

It's okay to be happy!!!

It's okay to be happy!  Don't rob yourself of a smile, don't rob others of your smile!

It does not matter what we are going through...happiness is ours to have!

Have a great day today and remember to bless someone with a smile!

Transformation Tuesday!

New ways of thinking bring on new ways of living.
I truly want to live my life with peace, trusting in God and His goodness.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things are passed away, behold, all things have become new.

Don't give up, it will be worth it all one day!

It all happens in a day

I'm often reminded of just how short life is.  

Let today be the day when we gain a revelation on just how precious a day is.

Don't waste it worrying over things you can't change or have no power over.  Use this day wisely.  Use it to invest in a great day and a better tomorrow.

Here's to starting over!!!

Love is a verb

How many of us want to be shown that we are loved?  I know I do.

In order to receive love though, we must first give love.

I don't expect my children, my grandson or the man I love to show me love if I haven't or can't show them that I love them.  It's an action word - I have to put it into action.

That does not mean buying things.  What it does mean though is making a conscience decision each and every day to love them through my words and deeds.

Show love today.

Put someone's needs and feelings in front of your own on this path to starting over - it's a beautiful new journey!

Shake it Off!

So often we hold on to the things that have weighed us down for too long and lose the things that are so important in our life.

We have to make a choice each and every day, and sometimes many times throughout the day to choose what's truly healthy for us.

Here's to the day when choosing right is the greatest habit we've formed!

Forget what you can't control

You can't control how others choose to live or operate their lives.  You can't control your boss or your co-workers.  You can't control your spouse or significant other....but you can take control of you.  

I know when I change my attitude at work or with my family or loved ones, it makes a huge impact on not only their day, but mine as well.  If I wake up on the wrong side of life....well, they feel it.  As a woman, we set the tone of our home.  It's a gift to be able to offer our children and loved ones a glimpse of hope.  

I know we are all faced with challenging moments/times/seasons....but we don't have to live in doom and gloom.  We can let go of the things we have zero control over and focus on what we do - 

Our Own Self! Our Own Attitude!

So the next time you're faced with a difficult situation, don't let someone trap you into taking on a negative mindset.  Don't let them manipulate your emotions or feelings.  Stay true to yourself!

We have to remember this each and every day as we start over.

If we do, our days will become better, brighter and more peaceful.

Here's to starting over!

Time for a comeback!

You are about to embark on the greatest time of your life - you are stronger, wiser, you are an improved version of yourself; look forward to it!!  I know I am!!!

Think about that as you start over!!!

Initiate change

We've all made mistakes.

We've all gone through rough patches in our lives.

Are we above showing mercy to others?

It's time to stop being a negative mouthpiece.

Be the voice of change with your friends.  If you are constantly around others who gossip or talk negatively about others and their life choices...be the first one who offers a word of encouragement towards the individual or individuals who have done something to bring the negative attention.  Don't participate in the gossip.  It's time to build each other up!

It's a great day to initiate some positive changes in your life.

Happy Monday!! =)