Note to self

I love this note.  It's simple, focused and gives direction.  I/we all need to stop throughout the day and check in.  How are we doing?  Am I feeling overwhelmed?  Am I scattered?  Are my thoughts and actions deliberate, detailed, organized?  What do I need to do to get back on track if I'm off?

It's not uncommon for any one of us to get so wrapped up in life that we lose ourself in the process.  As this year comes to an end, take time to think of your life.  What is it that you love about yourself, what do you want to change, how are you going to help yourself?

Today in the middle of the hustle and bustle...I took time for myself.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  I will have my children, grand children, husband, in laws, and friends to our cozy home - and it will be filled with love, laughter and memories...all of which help me to be the best me I can be!

Love to you, to all of us who have taken a step to better ourselves to #startingover15!

Acceptance

This has been something of a struggle for me, speaking honestly.

Over the last 7 years my life has changed drastically.  There's absolutely nothing left that resembles my previous life.  I don't dress the same, look the same, act the same....I don't run in the same circles, have the same animals, drive the same car, or even live with the same people.  I don't attend the same church, have the same daily routines or job for that matter.  Nothing in my life is the same. 

**********************************************************************

I found I must reinvent myself.  Learning I have to dig into God's Word for the answers I would generally just get from my dad (he's passed).  Here I am looking for new ways to fill voids in my life and can't depend on my husband to fill every gap, or any for that matter.  I have to think outside the box - start over if you will....

I have to quit expecting, start accepting and make changes where I have the power to change.

Listen....none of us have it all together all the time.  I certainly don't, but gosh darn it I'm willing to do whatever I need to do to be the best me I can be for me and those in my life.

#startingover15 is about acceptance just as much as it is about #embracingchange

Learning to love again, learning to be loved, learning to love myself again....

Accepting me for me - the good, the bad and the blessed!

Second chances

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook and it's had me thinking about my answer. 

Her post read..."It's easy to talk about all the things you don't like.  Life is hard and full of disappointment.  Tell me what you love."  My answer was..."Having a second chance at life."

We all have experienced a second chance in life...or I think most of us have.  Whether we received the second chance or gifted it - we've made the decision to try again.  For some of us the second chance has been profound, even life changing.  

God has been so good to me.  He gifted me love after I felt it was lost.  He gifted me grace and mercy although I am undeserving.  He gifted me salvation through His sacrifice.  He gifted me peace that passes all understanding.  He does this each and every day whether I fail Him or not.  He's the God of second, third, fifth, a thousand chances....and I owe my life to Him.

It doesn't matter where you find yourself today...I promise you that as the sun sets this evening, it will rise again tomorrow and with each passing day we will be given the gift of a NEW day and new opportunities.  Thank God!!!

#startingover15 #forgivenagain #forgiveothers #joycomesinthemorning 

Trusting in the dark

It's so easy to trust in God when everything is going great, all our needs are met, physically, emotionally and spiritually; we seem to have it all together...UNTIL....

 an unexpected expense comes up, until sickness hits, maybe family problems, a child is showing rebellion, there's trouble in your relationship, your car breaks down....

Whatever the situation there are times when we just feel completely in the dark and alone.  That's not the time to give up, but rather....it's the time to trust in God.  Trust God to make a way when there doesn't seem to be a way, trust Him to restore and bring about a new hope.  Trust Him for healing, deliverance, for wisdom, discernment, salvation....

I'm not always the best at exercising my faith in the exact moment that a trial might hit...but give me a few moments, hours, days and I do eventually surrender my situation to the Lord.  He's the only one who has the answers and He really does care and desire to meet our needs.

Wherever you are today....turn your worries and cares over to God and He will illuminate your life with His grace, love, peace and understanding.  He won't ignore you...He's amazing like that.

#startingover15 #havefaith #inittowinit

I know who I am.

This song is running through my mind.  I love listening to #Israel Houghton's music.
There are some serious truths to this song...
I was broken and God healed me!
I was dying and you gave me life

Isn't that the truth?!  I thought my life would never know healing again.  You know the healing of a broken heart.  The healing of a woman who lost her identity after divorce.  The healing of a mom whose daughters suffered greatly and there was nothing I could do.  The healing of a loneliness.

I experienced lows I'd never known before.  I didn't identify with any group of friends or church - it had all been torn apart.  Then The Lord stepped on the scene, created a new mind, a new heart, a new hope within me and began blessing my life.  There were times I doubted and shoot there are still times when I wonder what God has up his sleeve but I know who I am!

Oh how He's blessed me...

I am His!  I am free!  I am covered by God's grace!  I am no longer a slave to the past!  I am chosen!

Wherever you are today - no matter the circumstance, God's love is enough to not only pull you through but to set you on a new path.  Just let go and let God!

#startingover15 #anewcreatureinChrist #godismyallinall

Fighting the battle

It's Thursday night...I'm sitting in the office, listening to the birds talking back and forth to each other...hearing the neighborhood dogs bark at passersby and the faint distraction of the evening news streams in the bedroom.  I'm home alone tonight - my husband is at a meeting - so I'm taking this time to reflect on the past few days.

I've faced some trying hours over this last week.  Just because the Lord blesses our lives with great joy, peace, happiness, successes and health does not mean we are immune to difficulties.  We have an enemy who roams about seeking whom he may devour and destroy and he will stop at nothing to tear down God's children - and use anything he can to do it.  I am so glad I have a God to turn to in those times.

As I called on the Lord in my time of need - He once again reassured me that HE is in control.  He loves and cares for the things I love and care for - INCLUDING me!  Please please please don't forget God loves you when you are in the midst of your trials.  That's the time when He thrives most...He wants to flex His muscles for us and fight on our behalf!  He wants to prove His strength, love, mercy and grace....He's truly the best man we'll ever know.  

Tonight before you close your eyes - take your need to the Lord.  Pray for your spouse, your children, your parents, your Pastor, your neighbors and your friends.  Pray for our government and our communities....Pray that God would protect us all in this time of need.

To each one of us who found ourselves #startingover15 at one point or another....may we learn to fight on our knees and turn the battle over to the One who never loses!

Writing with a thankful spirit - thanking God for every battle He's won!

Hope

Are you facing a difficult time in your life?  Do you have even a spot of hope?  If so, don't give up - give it to God.  God promises He'll never leave or forsake us.  Because it's in His Word, He has to do what He said He'll do.  He truly is incapable of lying to His children.

Life is cruel sometimes and people we love can be just as cruel but often times it's because they are fighting something on the inside.  Maybe they don't know what it means to trust and hope in something greater than themselves....don't try to change them or their mind, give them to God.  God is the miracle worker and He is so patient, gentle and kind...never will He lash out in anger, say things He'll regret, belittle or hurt you....He will only love, love, love you.  So place your HOPE in God.  He is there to see you through.

#startingover15 is just my way to share with you how God is with me and has been with me over the last 6 year journey and counting.
From one woman to many others like me....it's okay, you'll be okay.  We will be okay...just continue to place your situation in God's hands. 

I am what I choose to become

Reflecting on our past can sometimes be a good thing...but also hurtful.  I know I am not the only one out there with a past riddled with ups and downs, hurts and disappointments, life altering instances.  Nor am I the only one who's chosen to stand up and move forward.  It's not always easy for us to make the choice - but we must if we ever want to be more than the circumstance dictated.

Be in control of YOUR OWN life...not your spouse's, not your children's...YOURS.  Do you want to be happy?  You can be happy.  If you want to be a college graduate, BE ONE...don't let anything stand in your way - you choose your destiny.  Do you want to lose weight?  Make the choices for your own body to help yourself lose weight!  Don't wait for someone to help or encourage you - you've got to take the first, the second, the third steps and never stop - but you CAN do it!

If I'm learning anything in this life right now, I'm learning that I have wants, and basic needs that must be met for my internal happiness and I have to take care of those myself, regardless of my marital, career, friendship or parental status.  I have to find the way to fulfill those basic wants and needs all on my own - becoming empowered to do that - means taking a step in believing in what I can become!

Here's to all of us - men, women, married, single, widowed, young and old...it's never too late to choose your path to happiness!  #startingover15 with a new frame of mind!!

Forgiving without an apology

Forgiving without an apology - is the greatest gift you can...or shall I say, we can give ourselves.
It seems life has a way of throwing us into situations where this handy tool must be used time and time again - and we are better for it.

I have some very personal situations in my life that have caused some deep pain for not only myself but others who are very dear to me...we've all had our turn with sleepless nights, upset stomachs, hurt, confusion, brokenness...but one situation in particular has really caused some deep soul searching.  To ignore it, is foolish.  To act out in anger, foolish.  The only solution has been to pray about it.  There is nothing too big for God.  So with each action - we give it to God and forgive.  We love, we keep pressing forward trusting He has it all in control.  What we don't do is get so wrapped up in it that we lose our peace.

Today if you have something troubling you I encourage you to let go of it, put it in God's hands and forgive the offender.  You need peace in your life, just as I do.  Don't go around gossiping about it - take it to the Lord, your hurt is safe with Him.  In doing so, you will become stronger.

Each day is a gift and a new chance to begin fresh...#startingover15
Here's to forgiveness!!  May we all freely give and freely receive!!

Living with purpose

It's an incredible realization...to find your purpose.

Each of us have to search that out.  I don't believe we should be like leaves in the wind being tossed about and then left to be walked on.  I believe we should seek to discover...  Who am I?  What do I want to do?  How can I leave a positive mark on the lives of those in my reach?

So many of us spend years looking for ourselves.  We never quite figure out who we are or what we want to be until something major happens in our life.  It may be the birth of a child, the death of a friend or loved one, a marriage or divorce...whatever it is - it causes us to take a serious inventory of our life and decide if we really know and like who we are, and do we want to change?

For me - it seems like life has taken so many twists and turns that I've had to truly learn to look to God for my identity.  For years I was...Roland and Margie's daughter, Jamie.  Then I was Jamie Lynn, then I was Staci's little sister, then I was Jamie...or Stowell...then I became a wife...then I was Kaitlyn and Aubrey's mom... then I was single again and became a "single mom"....then I became a gramma....now I am my most favorite version of myself... I am Jamie Baker....wife of Greg, gramma, mom, friend...and daughter of the King of Kings.

No matter what happens in life - that's who I am!  I am blessed...I am favored.  No part of my identity can be taken from me, those titles will forever remain!!

My job is to love, encourage, support, create, pray for and cultivate good memories for the remainder of my years on this earth....What an incredible position in life! Such purpose!!

As we #startover15 let us remember if we have God on our side, love in our lives....everything will work out for our good!

Search and rescue

Don't give up praying for the things have been broken, may lack or are missing from your life! 

 God is in the business of restoration, healing and blessings!!!

There's that old song - that says...

 You may be down today, just look up - help is on the way!  Dark clouds may dim your skies, but He will answer you by and by!!

I am seeing God's healing in my own life.   I can't tell you all the ways He's healing my life's brokenness - I can just tell you He is.  My husband told me last night that he's seeing a bit of the Jamie he's missed come back and well, I am trusting that to be true.  Each day I pray for God to heal me from the inside out.  I've been praying that prayer for as long as I can remember now and little by little the evidence is there to show me just all He's doing on my behalf.

He doesn't just heal one part - He heals it all.  We just have to be patient, have faith and know God is our greatest advocate, healer, physician, counselor, friend and loving father.

As you take on your day, with all the ups and downs, 

just keep telling yourself that God is on your side.  You too, will start to believe it and receive it.

#startingover15 #healingcomes #recovery #restoration

Taking a time out

Don't you wish you had someone telling you that you need to go take a nap?  Or maybe you've been inside too long and you need to go outside and play for a while?

We get so wrapped up in our lives sometimes that we forget to slow down and take some time for ourselves and our loved ones.  

I recently took a new position for a company that has me away from home far more than I or my husband likes.  I'm up early, on the road for close to an hour, at work for an 8 hour day and then traveling home again.  It takes my time and my energy just to keep the pace up and if I'm not careful it will rob my time and energy away from the ones who really matter.

As I was driving to work this morning I began praying that God would show me how to balance it all and not lose myself in the midst.  Making sure I give the proper time to God, my husband, my family, my job and myself.  It's not always easy - but it is possible, and sometimes - we just have to make the time.

He tells us in Hebrews Chapter 4 that He's made a way for us to enter into His rest.

When I trust Him to meet my needs - I am able to take some time for my family, my husband and myself.

I am looking forward to this weekend, where I can recharge my batteries, enjoy my husband and enter into His perfect rest.

Here's to #startingover15

Don't give up...

I want to send you a note of encouragement.  Don't stop praying for whatever need you have in your life.  I actually did give up for a time...you know?  I settled for less than I deserved and was never satisfied with my life or relationships.  What a terrible waste of time and energy.

So for those of you who read this little blog - please don't make the same mistakes I did.  Don't settle for less in your job, in your relationships and your friendships.  If you aren't getting out of it what you're putting into it - pray, pray, pray!!!  God does answer  prayers and He does provide.

I'm not telling you to ask for a divorce or quit your job.  I'm saying pray about it.  Give it to God and let Him work things out for your good.  Don't rush it or make decisions based on feelings.  Let God open and close doors for you.  Let Him heal your broken spirit and bring peace in your life.  Let Him calm the storms and carry the burden.  I know from experience - prayer brings change.  Just don't give up!!

Some days I feel like I need to pinch myself.  I know I cried many tears, prayed an endless prayer of thanks and gratitude for my "single" life and cooked more than my fair share of dinners for one over the last 6 years...but as I sit here and type my heart is full with gratitude to God alone for providing me with such a gift as I've found in my husband.

My thoughts are with you - with all of us that we be consistent in our prayers.  That we exercise our faith and keep believing that God can and will!!

#startingover15 #dontquitbeforeyourmiraclehappens

What's your testimony?

My husband and I had a couple of young ladies over to our home for dinner last night.  These girls have decided to take on a 2 year mission for the Mormon church here in town.  They come from two separate worlds, raised two different ways, have different life experiences - yet the have the same goal...to draw closer to God and reach others through their outreach.

Although I'm not a Mormon, I admire their commitment and dedication to their church and faith.  As we sat and talked about their testimonies...one of them tended to be ashamed of not always living for God and I felt led by the Lord to tell her that her testimony is just as beautiful as the sister that sat beside her who'd had an ever present unfailing relationship with God her entire life.

You see....God sooooo loved us (all of us) that He gave His only begotten son (Jesus Christ), that WHOSOEVER believeth on Him would not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16...in my paraphrased words)

It doesn't matter when you choose to change your heart and your life....your testimony is just as strong!  He loved you so much that He drew you into His love and care...How wonderful is that?!!!  It's amazing love....

I love the Lord...I am so thankful for where He's brought me from, what He's seen me through.  I just don't want to try life without Him.  God has kept me from many things and has forgiven me for some terrible decisions; yet He consistently reminds me just how much He loves me - I can never thank Him enough.

Serving Him means I don't have to face things alone.  Becoming His daughter - and truly trusting He'll provide for and protect me brings so much peace in my life...He's changed my heart, my mind and my spirit.

Don't be ashamed to #startover.  Don't be ashamed of your #testimony!

Have a beautiful weekend!

Steadfast and unmovable

#startingover #firmlyestablished

What does it mean to be steadfast and unmovable?  

Dictionary.com says this:

unwavering or determined in purpose, loyalty. etc.

it also says:

sure, dependable, reliable, constant, unwavering.  Steadfast, staunch, steady imply a sureness and contentiousness that may be depended on.  Steadfast literally means fixed in place, but is chiefly used figuratively to indicate undeviating constancy or resolution: steadfast in one's faith (staunch).

This is how I want to be with God, my marriage, with my family - all areas of my life.

There comes a time in our lives where we have to take a stand for something.  What drives you to stand firm in your marriage?  What drives you to be unwavering in your love for your spouse?  What drives you to love your children unconditionally?  What drives you to stick to your diet or work out routine?  What drives you to live for God?  It is your spirit man, your heart. your mind....once those areas are made up - nothing can sway you.

Lord create in me a clean heart....a heart that loves unconditionally and God revive my unshakable dedication to you and those I have committed myself to....even myself.  Amen...

Living a blessed life - because I chose to start over....

The Battle is the Lord's

It seems that satan will use anything and anyone to steal our joy. Our spouses, children, sisters, brothers, parents, jobs, money, the politics and weather....whatever can be used, will be used to shake us.  If satan can divide and conquer, he will do just that.

We have to realize that some things in life aren't really our battles.
There's a song that has been sung in many churches over the years that says this...
"The battle's not mine" said little David "Lord it's thine, I'm in your favor.  I've given it all to You, I knew not what to do.  I'm so glad you've let me see, You're really all that I need, for the battle's not mine, I give it to You...Lord it's Thine".

Allowing God to fight the battle means we step out of our own way and let Him move in ways we don't see, know or even understand at times. Always trusting HE has it in control.  We pray about it, and lay it at His feet and truly step out of the way so He can move on our behalf.  He is mighty! Nothing can stop Him from completing His plan.

Today, looking at this image I can see how someone has created a powerful warrior who stands in the midst of all those things that come against us...for with God - nothing is impossible.

Trusting in Him today, as unworthy as I am....knowing He loves me in spite of my flaws, mistakes and failures.  He is great and greatly to be praised!

Starting over each and every day placing my cares on His powerful shoulders.
#startingover

Breaking down walls

Just recently I have discovered that I still have some walls guarding my heart.  I didn't know just how high they were until that terrible thing called fear crept in.  It's so sad for me to realize just how fast my mind can access a situation, formulate a scenario, judge the outcome and start the process of what to do next.  It's not uncommon for those who've been let down to develop these habits, but it's wrong.

I have been in prayer each day since this moment of realization, asking God to break down the walls which still remain.  Walls of doubt - walls of fear - walls of insecurity have kept me from enjoying life and now must be broken down so I can live the life God is blessing me with.  

Sometimes things happen that shake our foundation but it doesn't mean we need to hide behind the walls in order to protect ourselves.  We really need to just boldly trust in God to hold our hand as we walk through the uncertainty - building our faith and trust in Him for He never fails us.

Today I realize I have often glorified my fears as if they were some trophy I was able to show off when I reacted to a situation.  I don't want that in my life.  I want to be humble and face my fears with the strength of God and the promise He gives to be with us.  Today transparency and honesty have to be prevalent in my walk, not only for my peace of mind but for those who are close to me as well.

God never promised the road would be easy but He did promise to lead and guide.

Saying goodbye to the things that built the walls brick by brick as I start over and thank God for this beautiful life He's blessing me with!!

With God - anything is possible

How many of us have had it happen?  You know, the impossible...

For instance...how did a bill get paid when I was broke?  How did I survive that car accident -I should have been killed?  How did my marriage survive - it was crumbling?  How did my child graduate from high school - he hated school?

We are walking through a storm and can't see three feet in front of us and yet when the clouds clear, the rain ceases...we can see we have moved forward in the midst of darkness.

There was a time that each and every day unwrapped a new set of problems.  My truck broke down, my daughter was sick with kidney stones, I was barely making it on minimum wage, my other daughter was facing some terrible situations at school, I was in a battle for child support and had no money for a lawyer.  So many things were stacked against me but somehow...I made it, we made it!   My power wasn't shut off, there was no eviction notice, we didn't die of starvation; we made it by the grace of God and those He sent to help us through.  Miracles....each storm brought a new way for God to show His power in my life.

Today I know that God is in complete control.  Today I know that miracles come in many different shapes and forms and I am so grateful God continues to show them to me.

For everyone starting over, going through a struggle, a down season in your life - please hold on.  If you can't take a step forward - stand still.  Just don't give up, give it to God and God will bring you through.

Your miracle is on the way!